Browsing the archives for the humor tag.

Seattle and the Rain!!!

Feb 5, 2008
on life


Ok it really does not rain that much here – but it’s overcast most of the time. And drizzling… yada yada yada… But statically it’s less than LA, NYC, Miami and most eastern-seaboard cities.

However – “RAIN” is a big part of of Seattle life (It’s not called Rainy City for nothing! That reminds me – it’s also called Emerald City – but I haven’t seen any lying around yet)…

Anyway so much so that our intranet has a full wiki devoted to jokes on Seattle and Rain (which is not a big surprize since the Amazon intranet, rather wiki, is full of, ummm, ANYTHING – from comparisons on Grocery Stores to Even-Horizons/Black-holes and to some really good tech material).

This page has a load of jokes – here are my top three:

#3 You can apply the old Mt. Rainer forecasting guide.

1. If you can see Mt. Rainier it isn’t raining but it will be soon.
2. If you can’t see Mt. Rainer, it is raining, and if not on your head, it will be shortly!

(Mt. Rainier is a range of mountains to the SW of Seattle – there are 2 other ranges, Olympics and Cascades surrounding Seattle – hence the rain!!! Go read up on Seattle in wikipedia)

#2 “I can’t believe it,” said the tourist. “I’ve been here an entire week and it’s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?”

“Well, that’s hard to say,” replied the local. “Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”

#1 A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it’s raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, “Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?” The kid says, “How do I know? I’m only 6.”

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TWICK- 5 things needed to avoid random unfortunate situations

Nov 21, 2007
on life
Imagine living in an apartment full of strangers and not-so-friendly-doormen (add strict apartment regulations).
Now imagine you live alone (or maybe your roomie is away – unreachable for all practical purpose).
Next, imagine you never thought or felt it’s important to have a backup of your keys. Yeah now you know where I am going…

But, no, you didn’t drop it somewhere (that will be a real nightmare – and probably you won’t be in a position or mood to write a blog about it shortly afterwards) – you, being the big absent-minded buffoon you are, left it inside the apartment and locked the door. Huh… there you go…

Of course I can never do something like that. But it’s possible for anybody. And so, even though I never experienced the very same thing – let alone THREE times in the last ONE year, I still gained enough wisdom to educate the naive world about the problems that this comes with. If you read on, you will even find a grand solution to this problem.

I could rant on and on about the possible unfortunate situations you might be in. Let’s just name a few random ones, just for your sake:

  1. You parents/sister might be temporarily visiting you. All their stuff could be inside the house. It might be 11 PM. It might even be the night before the grand long-awaited morning on which you take them for a vacation to Florida – the flight being at 5 AM. God save your parents/sister…
  2. You might be too boozed to even walk properly (and that usually does not happen before around 2 AM – if you are like me). God save you…
  3. The apartment rules say that you have to pay $100 for every unlock!!! Again, God save you man…
  4. The doorman could be a real ***hole – saying the guy who unlocks the room is unavailable till next morning (and you already read points 2 & 3 above right?). God save the doorman!!!
Anyway, I can think of at least another 1000 ****ed-up situations like this. But I never waste time. You can keep thinking though…

Of course, a man like me will never be caught in any of these situations… Because I have the perfect solution (rather a prevention) for this – my TWICKs!!!

And the best news – I am going to share that with you. Of course you will say (after reading) that you thought of this a long time ago – you already knew about it!!! What crap! Even I can say that – No one told me about this (not a guy named Rajesh Ramanathan anyway) – I thought of this solution myself.

But the real truth is, I really thought of this myself – and you just read it in my blog. However, I am generous enough not to apply for a US Patent for this method. So you can boast whatever you want.

Anyway, enough and more digressing. Let’s come back to the solution: You just need a simple formula to remind you before you get out of your house.

For those of you mathematically gifted, think of 5 (it could be less or for you. It’s 5 for me. As it is, for some very basic concepts – The 5 elements, The 5 sacred Sikh symbols, the 5 basics pillars of Islam, Maroon 5, The 5 oceans, The Pentium!!! Whatever, I am digressing again – 5 is for me).

For the rest of you, think “TWICK” (again it could be something else for you. And I could ramble on about very basic concepts evolving around “TWICK” – but the word does it for me).

Before leaving the room, I always count 5 things, the “TWICK”s. If the count or letters are missing – something’s missing. Very very simple.

What the hell is TWICK – Timepiece, Wallet, iPod, Cell and Keys (in no particular order)…

Now that you have read it all – go integrate this into your life.

Feel like killing me ? First do that to the doorman who did this to me!!!

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